i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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