I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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