That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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