The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize