u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
