Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
