4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
