Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so let's talk penis.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
