I puked a lego.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
