I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize