love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
