i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
