im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
