I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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