I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
