It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize