High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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