Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
