I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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