I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize