that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
