OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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