the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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