did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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