in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
