I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
