the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
