ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
