i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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