Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
