Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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