I want to have your abortion
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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