I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
