it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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