Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
worst night to have a conscience
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
