last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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