A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize