matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
