OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
