The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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