There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
