sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
