The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
