You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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