My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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