Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
