Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
