Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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