Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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