I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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