We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize