just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
