Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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