she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
