Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
