I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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