im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
