I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
