Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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