What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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