You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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