like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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