Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sober January is a disaster.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
